Flaws, Facts and Figures
by Broken Soup
Summary: A list of complaints and points on what was A wrong with the film B just made me laugh from the sheer half-wittedness used in it C what I thought was plain stupid. Will be adding more points as I go along!
1. Flaws

Okay, I personally thought that the Twilight Movie was a load of...candy floss....

There was so many things wrong with it, that I nearly died from laughter - I only got the DVD for kicks as it always makes me laugh hysterically when I see Robert Pattinson's 'blood lust' face.

Here are a few things that I noticed was wrong with the movie;

- In the trailer Emmett goes "Its not right Edward, she's not one of us." With Edward leaning moodily against the car and correct me if i'm wrong, but where in the movie is that scene? - Even if it is from the extras...do you normally put those in the trailers?

- ...Where the hell did they get spider monkey from?

- Why does it sound like someone is standing next to Edward in the 'revealing of the sparkly skin' scene, with a musical triangle, standing there chanting SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE

- Since when has Edward been a drift racer?

- If the vampires can smell Bella from anywhere (as they exaggerated) how come Alice and Jasper don't smell her in the hotel lobby and Alice doesn't see Bella's decision until 5 hours later?

- Why did Bella wack Jacob with the car door?

- When Bella stands in front of the fan, why does Edward cover his mouth like she has B.O.?

- Whats with the golden onion?

- Where in the book does it say the video of Bella is where she is hiding in the closet?

- Since when did they go on a field trip?

- Why is Emmett half-bald?

- Why does Jessica have straight, shortish hair, when its supposed to be quite curly?

- Why does the dance scene look so crap?

- Why is Jasper's voice so deep?

- (I laughed so hard at this part of the movie) Why does Tyler throw a liquorice at the back of Bella's head?

- What POSSESSED these people to play Robert Pattinson's music in the background of the dinner scene and then on the CD call him 'Rob'

- I love Charlie's moustache....and yes, I know its not a complaint.

- Why is Bella's bedroom so tiny, and then suddenly seems larger whenever Edward is in it?

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Well - I think thats about it for the moment, I will probably be adding more points as I think of them, but if anyone has any suggestions or complaints too I would love to hear them!

Peace _out_!

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Can I just say that some people complain so much..._jeez..._


	2. Facts

**Yes, the delightful edition of 'What I Hated About the Twilight Movie' is back!**

**I bet you're all squealing with joy.**

**There was a mixed response about my first posting - mainly correcting me, which I am thankful for, but only if it is done in a friendly way.**

**I love your opinions on what I write, but please, harshness is not needed.**

**Main Q asked last time: "What the hell is a drift racer?"**

**Main Q Answer: In "people talk" - dumbed down from the technicalities - it is a form of sport where drivers are racing, obviously, but when turning round corners they turn the wheels so that they skid round the corner (e.g. Car is turning left, wheels face right)**

**I hope that clears a couple of things out. **

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Okay, some things that aren't complaints, but compliments to the books...

**Edward** [Anglo-Saxon] means 'Prosperous Guardian'

**Cullen** [Gaelic] means 'Handsome one' - Don't you think that's neat?- Of course it differs from site to site, but that's the basic meanings.

**Bella/Belle** [French] means 'Beautiful woman'

**Swan** is depicted as 'Graceful' , which is ironic seeing as "Bella" is clumsy - Again these are from one source, so may differ.

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**Facts about the book overall**:

- At least one character has to have one flaw, this person being Bella with her clumsiness

- Together the series is called 'Manos: The Hands of Fate' _(not sure if this is true, I just found it somewhere)_

- Despite being described as a plain girl, Isabella Swan is admired by half the male population of Forks High...backwards much?

- Typical 'magical' moment in Twilight. Edward reveals his "sparkles" (yes i did quote) and Bella "gasps and swoons"

**Facts about the movie:**

- Nikki Reed is a sneaky person. Why? Ask yourself that question first.

- Apparently Stephenie features in the film ordering a sandwich...who knew?

- Nikki Reed and Jackson Rathbone both had to learn how to twirl the baseball bats left handed for the movie...even though Nikki fails when she tries to copy "Jasper's" movements.

- Who would let Kristen Stewart, I don't care how old, pick a song for a major motion picture? ARE THEY INSANE?

- Do you think she dropped that award of purpose...ooh the controversy!

**Random facts I noticed...**

- Is it just me, or is Bella Swan described as Stephenie Meyer's appearance....suspicious...

- In the cafeteria scene I swear Robert Pattinson has pit stains...eww...

- What happens when Bella has her period?

- Charlie seems lonely, he should get a cat...it would be too ironic if he got a dog...I love his moustache...

TEAM CHARLIE'S MOUSTACHE!

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**If you didn't get it, what I listed was either sarcastic or making a dig.**

**Except Charlie's moustache...legend...**

_Peace_ out!

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	3. Raves

Welcome back to the wonderful world of my mind : Part III

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RAVES.

I watched the Twilight movie again recently, and I noticed _another_ couple of things that had errors in them.

- Has anybody else noticed that on the credits it spells Emmett with one t? (Emmet if you can't work that out)

TYPO! TYPO ON A MOVIE!

- Oh and also, when Bella buys the book before being cornered by the 'gang' she throws her bag into Edward's car before being dropped off with Charlie. But then she never gets her bag back from Edward. _And then_ she somehow has the book when she arrives home.

Its plain weird 'yall.

- Another thing...I was laughing at this so much in the cinema actually when I saw this...Kristen (Bella) goes cross-eyed when she's pretending to be "burning from the venom".

I thought it was pretty funny to be honest.

- Isn't Victoria supposed to have "flaming red hair", while the actress has blondish hair....................and a tumble weed suddenly rolled past.....

- It was hilarious how _everyone_ and I mean **everyone **in the Twilight movie mumbled "Quileute"

(spelling?), because I bet nobody really knew how to pronounce it...oh and also Carlisle, I think they mumbled his name as well.

- There's one extra in the film, a guy with glasses and wavy hair, who stalks the rest of the cast. Its amazing how he gets away with that.

- Whats with the compost drink?

- Was the guy who played the Biology teacher more important in the plot than Victoria? Because when they listed the actors/actresses he came before her....ooh, burn ey?

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Some things about the New Moon trailer:

I'm quite excited about this film, mainly being because my favorite animals are wolves and I don't really like Pattinson, but anyway...

- I was quite confused as to if I actually saw this, but on the trailer at first Jacob has no top on when jumping over the porch to "save" Bella, and then he's running topless (If I remember correctly) but then when he phases, he's wearing a shirt.

CONFUSED?

- I think the wolf dudes look hot. Especially where they have done that one shot where they are all topless, so much better than PATTINSON!

- I hate the girl who plays Jane, Dakota Fanning (I keep going to say Richards) or something like that, I just recognise her and she's so irritating!

- I'm glad this movie has a new director, does anybody else?

- Who hopes they have a better soundtrack this time?

- And maybe better settings, and scenes, and acting skills...

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Ugh well, its 2:36 am and I think thats all I can remember at the moment, so if you feel like dropping a review then knock yourself out.

Oh, and also check out my other ff which is actually a fictional story, called Bedlam, it seems to be getting pretty popular.

Ciao.


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